Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Indiana Jones?

watch out for snakes.

This one didn't really get started until I was in High School, which is odd because I grew up out between fields where snakes showed up in the yard all of the time. But later, at this time, we moved to a new town and into a development. Sometimes we would still see snakes in the yard but very rarely. But it became something that my dad would say every time we walked out the door, like a mother yelling, "Be careful!" or "Be back before dark!", but father would always yell, "Watch out for snakes!" at the last second as you walked out of the door. It was something that always made me smile as I was walking out of the door.
Later, as I was in college and my parents moved back out to open fields again, my dad was cleaning up the driveway and saw a large black snake. As my dad has declared war on snakes for as long as I can remember, he killed it with a shovel. He thought to himself that it might smell and stink up his property - we can't have that. So he picked it up in his gloved hands and tossed it across the street into a pasture surrounded by some very small woods. He tossed a little too high and the snake's corpse caught on a tree branch and wrapped itself around at least twice over 20 feet in the air! The snake remained there and served as my father's reminder to "watch out for snakes".

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

that healthy glow

real men also tan.

With the exception of perhaps the house I was born in, and then the house in high school, my family always lived in a house out in the country. Little to no neighbors and plenty of yard space. My father took such a large un-shaded area to full advantage to the tune of short swimtrunks, a 20-year old beach towel, and no sunscreen. Needless to say, my father was always well-bronzed.

Friday, September 21, 2012

how to clean a gun

q-tips serve great for cleaning guns.

My house never ran out of q-tips. They were used for everything, including the obsessive cleaning of my father's guns. Most hunters probably clean their guns every couple of years, or when they look like they need it. My father cleaned them religiously every year before his week-long trip for the start of deer season and even sometimes on his return. My father made guns last longer than most avid hunters could. My brother stated that receiving our father's guns after his death was like getting a brand new gun.

the dining room table is the proper place for cleaning guns.

Every year. Never fails. The dining room table was transformed into a gun shop work table. Of course, a sheet was laid down first. My father took apart his guns and swabbed them with special micro-fiber cloths and q-tips for the hard to reach places. This alone was a week-long process which wasn't terrible growing up because we had a kitchen table for family meals and an extra-long dining table for holidays. But then, my family moved and built a new house. The kitchen featured an island with a barstool-less bar (my mother has yet to purchase seating for it after almost 4 years in the house). This architectural shift led to a smaller dining room where the kitchen table for family meals was placed, and we got rid of the long table. So, deer season came around and we were left with couch dinner seating or an eat and run strategy.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

clothing care

never carry anything in your pockets. it will cause creases and wrinkles in your pants.

This was something I knew my father did, but he did it almost to a fault in the end. My father never left his keys, wallet, anything in his pockets - especially when he sat down. The wallet could stay in the back pocket only when walking. As soon as he sat down, it went on a table, in the middle console of the truck, or in his coat pocket. Keys were either carried or put in large coat pockets. Loose change was never carried around. The reason I claim it was to a fault is something that I will never forget about my father's death. Suicide never comes expected to a family - especially when none of the "normal" signs showed beforehand. After he was found, one of the officers on the job later stated that he believed this was pre-determined for a while, which was quite discomforting. When we further inquired, he said that he believed this was true because of how "clean" he was. He carried nothing in his pockets, no cash, no loose change, no papers; his phone was left in the middle console. The officer believed if this was an "act of passion", he would be carrying these sorts of things. Our response was that that was how my father was. Even in his death, my father kept neat and tidy.

Monday, September 10, 2012

health rules

oatmeal, scrambled eggs, and cold cereal are part of a well-balanced diet.

We always joked about my father's lonely eating habits. I call them lonely eating habits because he only did it when he was on his own (which wasn't often - my mother cooked dinner nearly every single night). But for those nights that she wasn't at home, or wasn't home soon enough, these were the actions my father took. I will say, I took my habit of eating cold cereal at any point in the day from my father. He made me feel it was normal to eat a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch at 3:00 pm. I remember a summer in high school: my father would come home for lunch everyday around 11:00 am. The phone would ring at 10:45 am; my father was calling to let me know that he is coming home. My duties then were to prepared scrambled eggs for him to eat when he arrived at home. I'm not even sure why I did it. When I wasn't home, I'm sure he ate cold cereal instead. I remember another time when we were joking about my parents' relationship and somehow it came up - what if something should happen to Mom? My brother didn't miss a beat, "Well, a man can only live on scrambled eggs, oatmeal, and cereal for so long."

one mug of coffee requires no less than 4 heaping scoops of white sugar.

Most people take the time to prepare their coffee in the morning. It's almost like a private ritual. No one sees you make it; no one knows how much creamer you use - how much sugar. Not my father. My father did everything he possibly could to shorten his time in the morning. He made is lunch the night before (normal), he prepped the coffee maker the night before (ok), he got out a mug and put 4 large scoops of sugar in it and set it next to the coffee pot (what?). This was the after-dinner ritual where we were all there to see. My father never used less than 4 scoops of sugar in his coffee - and that's even after he cut down!

if it doesn't have a label on it, it doesn't have calories.

This is probably the most used rule that I stick with today. When I was in late-elementary school, my father was hospitalized for chest pains due to high cholesterol. After that, he did a major cut-back on his diet...mostly. My mom was always (and still is) a fantastic cook and her Amish heritage surely did help with those delicious recipes. Thankfully, she never used lard in a recipe (or I would be as big as a house) - she always used butter, and lots of it. She made chocolate chip cookies, cheesecake, blueberry crumb pie, brownies, fruit turnovers, everything - all made with butter. So when my mother would bake a cake, pie, brownies, cookies, my father helped himself generously. And if confronted about his overdose of dessert portion mixed with his high cholesterol, his response would always be, "Well, it doesn't have a label on it. Therefore, it doesn't have calories, saturated fat, sugars, or cholesterol." I have to say, I like the way the man thought when it came to food. To this day when I am making something in the kitchen and enjoy an extra portion of home-baked cookies or cupcakes, I remind myself of probably my favorit piece of advice from my father. Bon appétit!

Friday, September 7, 2012

better get moving!

when my father asks a task of you, that means he wants it right away. too much time and he will do it himself.

My father was not the if-you-have-time-could-you type. Most of the time, I was reading a book in the living room, working on homework, or maybe trying to relax after school or dance classes. If he asked me to do something, I learned that I can't say, "Ok, right after I finish the chapter/ the page/ this problem," because if I did do those things and got up to complete the task, I would find my father doing it himself. Most of the time, it was things that could wait: washing the dishes, changing the laundry, unload the dishwasher, etc.
I find that I now, complete a task as soon as I think of it because of my father. I remember the mentality: If I don't do it now, no one will.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

first things first

the first thing that must be done when arriving home is changing into sweatpants and slippers.

It's true. Everyday my father would arrive home from work and immediately change into his ratty sweatpants (or gym shorts in the summer), and the same slippers he has had since I was a baby. The could give the illusion to an outsider that my father was lazy or didn't like his everyday khakis and polos. But, it was clear to those of us that knew him that it wasn't for comfort, it was for practicality. You see, my father could not relax and lay on the couch after a hard day's work in his khakis: they would get wrinkled. So in order not to create unnecessary creases, my father chose to change his clothes every single day after work, in spite of expecting company. My father didn't stay in his day clothes for visiting boyfriends or girlfriends, visiting friends, or even when his mother was coming to dinner.